AJ & Kevin wrote this little ditty in honor of Tracey's birthday. The references to "Stacy" are in relation to Hubert's ex, who hung around a lot and made Tracey very angry. Hubert was a bit of a jerkwad.

Note: later on, we showered Tracey with gifts of chocolate covered fruit, but she didn't seem all that impressed.

TRACEY

(Kevin)
In honor of  you, Tracey
we thought we'd buy you something lacy,
but that might be too racy
and Hubert would be spacey
and then, we'd go kill Stacy
and we'd stomp upon her head.

(A.J.)
Then we thought we'd buy you flowers.
We thought of it for hours
then considered Austin Powers
and the way that Stacy cowers
while we stomp upon her head.

(Kevin)
And then there's chocolate covered fruit
or a blue and white pantsuit
(A.J.)
You'd sure as hell look cute
as you gave the "chick" the boot
while we stomp upon her head.

(chorus--ensemble)
Stomp upon her head
Stomp upon her head
Tracey Tracey Tracey Tracey
Stomp upon her head.

(Kevin)
We'd write a song about Burl Ives
but that would surely give you hives
much to your surprise
Wow, this proves we have no lives
but we love to hear the cries
as we stomp upon her head

(Kevin)
And then we thought we'd buy you beer
but we can't bring that in here
as the rules have made so clear
(A.J.)
we'll watch her run in fear
before we stomp upon her head

(Kevin)
Who would have thought to buy you shoes?
So we went to Clark's, perused.
The pairs they had were used.
We can't wait to see her bruised
when we stomp upon her head.

(Chorus)

(A.J.)
This is the part after the chorus
in which I hate bikes and tourists
and I am hit by a Ford Taurus
Coasting gently toward us
driven by Yeltsin (Boris)
right outside the florist
right outside the florist
right outside the florist
stomp upon her head
stomp upon her head
Tracey Tracey Tracey Tracey
stomp upon her head.

Tasteless "song" written after the tragic plane crash which left our beloved folk-poet, John Denver, dead. I want to state, for the record, that I had nothing to do with this song. Also, I own no John Denver albums.

Goodbye America's Rose
A Tribute to John Denver

By Nathaniel Bridge and John Denver
(aka, AJ)

The impact stopped your heart,
had your last taste of turbulance
when your plane was torn apart.
You called out to our country,
but you were falling from your plane.
Now you've got your own wings,
and the rubble spells out your name.
Even though you beat your wife,
like a rented mule in the wind,
never fading with the sunset
when the pain set in.
And the shrapnel still falls here
from your old one-engine plane;
that engine burned out in the air;
now your wife is free from pain.
The Muppet shows we've lost,
they never cramped your style.
This torch we'll always carry
for our nation's fallen child.
And even though we try,
we can't forget the tears
from when you'd drive you car around
after thirty seven beers.
Goodbye American rose,
from the bottom of the sea,
where rest the wings of your home-made plane
...because you're dead.

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